Hi. I'm here to talk to you about the importance of praise, admiration and thank you, and having it be specific and genuine.
嗨。我在这里要和大家谈谈 向别人表达赞美，倾佩和谢意的重要性。 并使它们听来真诚，具体。
And the way I got interested in this was, I noticed in myself, when I was growing up, and until about a few years ago, that I would want to say thank you to someone, I would want to praise them, I would want to take in their praise of me and I'd just stop it. And I asked myself, whyI felt shy, I felt embarrassed. And then my question became, am I the only one who does thisSo, I decided to investigate.
之所以我对此感兴趣 是因为我从我自己的成长中注意到 几年前， 当我想要对某个人说声谢谢时， 当我想要赞美他们时， 当我想接受他们对我的赞扬， 但我却没有说出口。 我问我自己，这是为什么？ 我感到害羞，我感到尴尬。 接着我产生了一个问题 难道我是唯一一个这么做的人吗？ 所以我决定做些探究。
I'm fortunate enough to work in the facility, so I get to see people who are facing life and death with addiction. And sometimes it comes down to something as simple as, their core wound is their father died without ever saying he's proud of them. But then, they hear from all the family and friends that the father told everybody else that he was proud of him, but he never told the son. It's because he didn't know that his son needed to hear it.
我非常幸运的在一家康复中心工作， 所以我可以看到那些因为上瘾而面临生与死的人。 有时候这一切可以非常简单地归结为， 他们最核心的创伤来自于他们父亲到死都未说过“他为他们而自豪”。 但他们从所有其它家庭或朋友那里得知 他的父亲告诉其他人为他感到自豪， 但这个父亲从没告诉过他儿子。 因为他不知道他的儿子需要听到这一切。
So my question is, why don't we ask for the things that we needI know a gentleman, married for 25 years, who's longing to hear his wife say, "Thank you for being the breadwinner, so I can stay home with the kids," but won't ask. I know a woman who's good at this. She, once a week, meets with her husband and says, "I'd really like you to thank me for all these things I did in the house and with the kids." And he goes, "Oh, this is great, this is great." And praise really does have to be genuine, but she takes responsibility for that. And a friend of mine, April, who I've had since kindergarten, she thanks her children for doing their . And she said, "Why wouldn't I thank it, even though they're supposed to do it"
因此我的问题是，为什么我们不索求我们需要的东西呢？ 我认识一个结婚25年的男士 渴望听到他妻子说， “感谢你为这个家在外赚钱，这样我才能在家陪伴着孩子，” 但他从来不
去问。 我认识一个精于此道的女士。 每周一次，她见到丈夫后会说， “我真的希望你为我对这个家和孩子们付出的努力而感谢我。” 他会应和到“哦，真是太棒了，真是太棒了。” 赞扬别人一定要真诚， 但她对赞美承担了责任。 一个从我上幼儿园就一直是朋友的叫April的人， 她会感谢她的孩子们做了家务。 她说：“为什么我不表示感谢呢，即使他们本来就要做那些事情？”
So, the question is, why was I blocking itWhy were other people blocking itWhy can I say, "I'll take my steak , I need size six shoes," but I won't say, "Would you praise me this way" And it's because I'm giving you critical data about me. I'm telling you where I'm insecure. I'm telling you where I need your help. And I'm treating you, my inner circle, like you're the enemy. Because what can you do with that dataYou could neglect me. You could abuse it. Or you could actually meet my need.
因此我的问题是，为什么我不说呢？ 为什么其它人不说呢？ 为什么我能说：“我要一块中等厚度的牛排， 我需要6号尺寸的鞋子，” 但我却不能说：“你可以赞扬我吗？” 因为这会使我把我的重要信息与你分享。 会让我告诉了你我内心的不安。 会让你认为我需要你的帮助。 虽然你是我最贴心的'人， 我却把你当作是敌人。 你会用我托付给你的重要信息做些什么呢？ 你可以忽视我。 你可以滥用它。 或者你可以满足我的要求。
And I took my bike into the bike store-- I love this -- same bike, and they'd do something called "truing" the wheels. The guy said, "You know, when you true the wheels, it's going to make the bike so much better." I get the same bike back, and they've taken all the little warps out of those same wheels I've had for two and a half years, and my bike is like new. So, I'm going to challenge all of you. I want you to true your wheels: be honest about the praise that you need to hear. What do you need to hearGo home to your wife -- go ask her, what does she needGo home to your husband -- what does he needGo home and ask those questions, and then help the people around you.
我把我的自行车拿到车行－－我喜欢这么做－－ 同样的自行车，他们会对车轮做整形。 那里的人说：“当你对车轮做整形时， 它会使自行车变成更好。” 我把这辆自行车拿回来， 他们把有小小弯曲的铁丝从轮子上拿走 这辆车我用了2年半，现在还像新的一样。 所以我要问在场的所有人， 我希望你们把你们的车轮整形一下： 真诚面对对你们想听到的赞美。 你们想听到什么呢？ 回家问问你们的妻子，她想听到什么？ 回家问问你们的丈夫，他想听到什么？ 回家问问这些问题，并帮助身边的人实现它们。
And it's simple. And why should we care about thisWe talk about world peace. How can we have world peace with different cultures, different languagesI think it starts household by household, under the same roof. So, let's make it right in our own backyard. And I want to thank all of you in the audience for
being great husbands, great mothers, friends, daughters, sons. And maybe somebody's never said that to you, but you've done a really, really good job. And thank you for being here, just showing up and changing the world with your ideas.
非常简单。 为什么要关心这个呢？ 我们谈论世界和平。 我们怎么用不同的文化，不同的语言来保持世界和平？ 我想要从每个小家庭开始。 所以让我们在家里就把这件事情做好。 我想要感谢所有在这里的人们 因为你们是好丈夫，好母亲， 好伙伴，好女儿和好儿子。 或许有些人从没跟你们说过 但你们已经做得非常非常得出色了。
界显示着你们的智慧，并用它们改变着世界。 感谢你们来到这里， 向世
I was appreciated by Edward Wilson’s on biological diversity. He introduce the biological diversity and wish we could build up the Encyclopedia of Life to preserve lift. That’s also my wish. We all know that many species disappear every years and Human-forced climate change alone again, if unabated could eliminate a quarter of surviving species during the next five decades. In normal, one specie would turn into a different form or disappear on the earth finally, but it may take a long time. However it become faster because of the environment pollution.
What I want to say is that biological diversity is a valuable wealth of all human beings and provide a good environment for the survival of mankind. It is the foundation of human society's survival and development. At the same time, people rely on the ecological system to purify air, water, etc.
All nature Creatures are interdependent and mutually restricted. The vast of one specie indicates that many species are about to die, but we could do nothing. Now it’s time for us to do something, not only the Encyclopedia of Life, just all what we can do. To search for life, to understand it and finally, above all, to preserve it.
How people achieve their dreams
When we think about the dreams we have, and the dent we want to leave in the universe.it is striking to see how big of an overlap there is.between the dreams that we have and projects that never happen.so I’m here to talk you today about five ways how not to follow your dreams.
One :Believe in overnight success.you know the story, rightThe tech guy built a mobie app and sold it very fast for a lot of money.You know ,the story may seem real,but I bet it’s incomplete.If you go investigate further,the guy has done 30 apps before,and he has done a master’s on the topic,a Ph.D.He has been working on the topic for 20 years.your overnight success story is always a result of everything you’ve done in your life through that moment.
Two:Believe someone else has the answers for you.Constantly,people want to help out,rightAll sort of people:your family ,your friends,your business partners,they all have opinions on which path you should take.And let me tell you,go through this pipe.But whenever you go inside,there are other ways you have to pick as well.And you need to make those decisions yourself.No one else has the perfect answers for your life.And you need to keep picking those decisions,rightThe pipes are infinite and you’re going to bump your head,and it’s a part of the process.
Three,and it’s very subtle but very important:Decide to settle when growth is guaranteed.So your life is going great,you have put together a great team,and you have growing revenue,and everything is set,time to settle.Even if I did little, sales would be okay. But okay is never okay. When you’re growing towards a peak, you need to work harder than ever and find yourself another peak.Maybe if I did little, a couple hundred thousand people would read it, and that’s great already. But if I work harder than ever, I can bring this number up to millions. And I can already see a higher peak.there’s no time to settle down.
Fourth tip, and that’s really important:Believe the fault is someone else’s. I constantly see people saying, “yes, I had this great idea, but no investor had the vision to invest.” “oh, I created this great product, but the market is so bad,the sales didn’t go well.” Or, I can’t find good talent;my team is so below expectations.” If you have dreams, it’s your responsibility to make them happen. Yes ,it may be hard to find talent. Yes the market may be bad. But if no one invested in your idea,if no one bought your product, for sure,there is something that is your fault. You need to get your dreams and make them happen. And no one achieved their goals alone. But if you didn’t make them happen, it’s your fault and no one else’s. be responsible for your dreams.
And one last tip, and this one is really important as well: Believe that the only things that matter are the dreams themselves. Once I saw an ad , and it was a lot of friends , they were going up a mountain, it was a very high mountain, and it was a lot of work. You could see that they were sweating and this was tough. And they were going up, and they finally made it to the peak. Of course, they decided to celebrate, rightI’m going to celebrate, “yes we made it ,we’re at the top!” two seconds later, one looks at the other and says, “okay let’s go down.” Life is never about the goals themselves. Life is about the journey. Yes, you should enjoy the goals themselves, but people think that you have dreams, and whenever you get to reaching one of those dreams, it’s magical place
where happiness will be all around. But achieving a dream is a momentary sensation, and you life is not. The only way to really achieve all of your dreams is to fully enjoy step of your journey. That’s the best way. And your journey is simple it’s made of step. Some steps will be right on. Sometimes you will trip. If it’s right on, celebrate, because some people wait a lot to celebrate. And if you tripped, turn that into something to learn. If every step becomes something to learn or something to celebrate, you will for sure enjoy the journey.
Believe me, if you do that, you will destroy your dreams.